Merry BLOODY Christmas

On my first year of Christmas, I was trapped in a giant gift box.
The monsters inside spared me and I was relieved.
But soon they grew hungry and tore me apart as their Christmas dinner.
They devoured me lustfully, making sure the pain was as excruciating as possible.
Merry, Merry BLOODY Christmas!

One my second year of Christmas, the elves ran out of wrapping paper.
To wrap all the gifts for the good children, oh they were in catatonic despair!
I soon grew tired of their cries and offered myself to be converted to wrapping paper.
Soon I was skinned alive and my skin was used to wrap toys and candy canes.
Merry, Merry BLOODY Christmas!

On my third year of Christmas, a poor beggar was sobbing near the lamp post.
I asked what's wrong, and he replied he longed for a warm Christmas feast.
I gave him the permission to roast me, and thus his act of cannibalism began.
Merry, Merry BLOODY Christmas!

And it goes on through my fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, and on and on and on.

#####

Merry Christmas, guys! How's the poem? Must be quite gross right? Haha, I hope it doesn't freak you all too much.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2012 everybody~!

Umineko no Naku Koro ni Review

Umineko no Naku Koro ni

After the phenomenal Higurashi no Naku Koro ni series have finally ended, Ryukishi 07, the author of the said series released another mystery horror series titled Umineko no Naku Koro ni, literally meaning When Seagulls Cry ( Higurashi no Naku Koro ni also translates to something similar, When Cicadas Cry ). Soon, just like its predecessor ( The worlds of these two series are not connected, but it is hinted the world of Higurashi was a very small... Let’s just say ‘fragment’ in the Umineko series ), it soon gained mass popularity, and again, just like its predecessor, an anime inspired by the series was aired.

-Storyline-

On 1983, the Ushiromiya family was invited to Rokkenjima island ( that was entirely owned by them, you’ll see why) to discuss about who will be the next successor of the grand Ushiromiya empire. Kinzo Ushiromiya, the current head of the Ushiromiya family only had three months again to live, and choosing a successor that will inherit the vast wealth of the famed Ushiromiya empire from his four children would be a difficult task. You see, they were the kind of people who’ll massacre the whole world just to get their hands on the valuable assets of the Ushiromiya empire, and a successor means only ONE of them will be the successor of the Ushiromiya empire. So, how about if we give them a fun test to be the head of the Ushiromiya family?

Be the first on to solve the Witch’s epitaph!

No, I’m not kidding. Seriously.

Long ago, in the late of 1800’s and 1900’s, the Ushiromiya family was very prosperous.They owned several spinning mills for their main income. But in the Great Kanto Earthquake of 1923, ( Geez, earthquakes just love the Japanese) they lost their spinning mills and most of the members of their family. Kinzo Ushiromiya was the one who was tasked to revive the Ushiromiya empire. Utilizing what’s left of the family and his great luck, he managed to make the Ushiromiya family more prosperous than ever in just 20 years. There was a legend about how he managed to find the sources of the fundings of reviving the Ushiromiya family. Kinzo told everybody he stumbled across the Great Witch Beatrice ( Oh boy ). They made a deal, with him trading his soul with fame and wealth, and he managed to obtain TEN TONNES of GOLD. FROM THE WITCH.

TEN TONNES. OF GOLD. FROM THE WITCH.

Battler Ushiromiya,the son of one of the Ushiromiya siblings, doubted about the legend. He was a firm, thick headed guy who didn’t buy the whole “I met a witch and got lucky” theory.

And that’s why he had to suffer from replays of the massacre of his family. Believe me, it was NOT a pretty sight. At all.

The whole Ushiromiya family was sacrificed by Beatrice to revive her magical powers. She didn’t kill them nicely, trust me. Once again, this show is restricted from people who are under 17. There’s a MOUNTAIN of blood and ON-SCREEN gore ( Unlike Higurashi, this show’s violence is FAR MORE EXTREME. For people who have watched Higurashi, I’m sorry to say this but Higurashi is nothing compared to Umineko if it’s about the amount of graphic violence. And for people who don’t watch Higurashi, nothing actually means A LOT.), and extreme profanity as well. Since thick-headed Battler stubbornly refused to acknowledge witches and magic exist, he got thrown off from what I assumed to be the afterlife to battle the Golden and Endless Witch herself, Beatrice, in a game of intelligence and wits. To win, he must prove all the magic murders to be something that normal humans could do. Which is ridiculous since everybody was indeed killed magically. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out his chances of winning are slim. Slimmer than supermodels nowadays. Will he be able to defeat the arrogant and sadistic Golden Witch, Beatrice? Will he be able to break the fate of the 18 people on Rokkenjima island on 1983 of getting killed? Will he be able to deny the existence of Witches? What is the epitaph really about?

-Review-

Story: 8/10

Amazingly written story that combines both Phoenix Wright style of reasonings and also non-cliche drama. All the gore and terror didn’t feel like it was forcefully pushed into the story and became a major power and signature of the series.The magic aspect of the series is also very refreshing. Characters have emotional depths that, no matter how bitchy or annoying the characters are, make us sympathize with their fates. All the brain freezing stuff from the visual novels are are explained quite clearly. But most of the time I also felt like I had to repeat a particular scene just to fully understand a major argument or theory. But maybe I’m just that dumb. And the ending is a cliffhanger. Maybe because there’s supposed to be a sequel ( The later arcs of the visual novels are titled Umineko no Naku Koro ni Chiru ) but an anime adaptation is not going to air? What a shame. Maybe because the fans of the visual novel decided the anime adaptation was trashy and terrible. Well, I haven’t checked the visual novel yet... I just got some info from the Wiki. And it turns out the reason fans are whining is because most of the evidence needed by Battler to support his theory that witches don’t exist are missing in the anime. But the anime covered the problem quite nicely though. For me.

+ Well-written and is just OH.SO.AMAZING. The super complicated and detailed plot totally make sense!
- Sometimes can be too complicated to digest on the spot. And fans of the original visual novel HATE the anime because of the lack of sufficient details.

Visual: 7/10

The characters designs are gorgeous. The animation is also quite beautiful. But the coloring can be bland at times and sometimes I see characters being a little deformed, even though it’s not intended as a gory scene. And do they have to make gory scenes that DETAILED? Well, I’m not interested to see human guts being spread out. But still, I love all the slasher smiles and the insane looks on the characters’ faces.

+ Gorgeous character designs. I’m having a little crush on Battler and Kanon.
- Coloring : Not so impressive. And the GORE.

Music: 9/10

For music, it certainly is unique. I love ‘magical medieval’ music, so Umineko’s music is easy to love for me. It fits the moods of the anime well. Actually, most of the BGM ( Background Music ) comes from the visual novel. They’re awesome. Try listening to “Happiness of Marionette”, my personal favorite. The opening of the series, “Katayoku no Tori” or “One-winged Bird” sung by Akiko Shikata is enchanting. She has a real unique voice, and the opening fits well with the theme of the anime. The ending is quite awesome too, titled “La Divina Tragedia ~Makyoku~ ” sung by Jimang. At first his voice disturbed me, but in the end I started to like the song.

+ Music is enchanting.
- The ending theme was at first annoying to me. Paranoia, Paranoia, Para Para... Para Para Paradise? And the "Yami no kirisaku oh DESIRE! SACRIFICE SHEEP TO GOOOOOOOD!!!" Sheep!?!?

Voice Acting: 9/10

The voice actors are all amazing. Special mention goes toYui Horie who voices the cute but slightly psychotic Maria Ushiromiya ( who voices Hanyuu in Higurashi, by the way ), Sayaka Ohara who voices the Golden Witch Beatrice, and Miki Itou who voices the creepy but somehow appealing Eva Ushiromiya and another major character ... ( She also voices Miyo Takano from Higurashi ). There are several of my favorite voice actors ( Rie Kugimiya voices Shannon, Daisuke Ono voices Battler Ushiromiya , Yukari Tamura as Bernkastel, Miki Itou as Eva Ushiromiya and Aki Toyosaki as one of the Seven Sisters of Purgatory. I don’t know which one, though ), and the fact some voice actors have to voice different types of characters than the types they normally voice is very interesting. Rie Kugimiya who is well-known as the Queen of tsundere (Characters who are harsh at the outside but has a warmer side that they hide ) characters voices the family-oriented, kind hearted and feminime Shannon, while Daisuke Ono who normally voices cool, calm and collected men voices Battler Ushiromiya who’s a fiery lad. They nailed the difficult task though. Bravo and brava.

+ They successfully portrayed the not so ordinary characters.
- Somehow I wasn’t really scared when a character was looking scary visually but not so much orally. There’s several moments of this.

Score: 33/40

"Dame da, zen zen dame da!"
" Not goot enough, definitely not good enough!"
- Battler Ushiromiya