I was browsing through television channels with all the nonchalance I had, and after a while I decided to stop at CNN. What was on was something about China's situation regarding something that I can no longer recall, and then several words scrolled by in the coloured bar at the lower side of the screen ( I have no idea of its correct, professional term, forgive me ) that abruptly stopped my heart for a factual second, my eyes glued on them for what seemed to be an eternity.Coroner: Heroin, killed 'Glee' star.
In that moment, my first thought was that it must be another bad hoax. But then I realized there IS a GLEE star that's infamous drug problems, and just re-entered rehab in this dreadful struggle against the lethally addictive substance. Amazingly, nobody really did see this coming. Not even me. The nausea crept up my stomach to my tightening esophagus, and I spent a few more minutes flicking through channels repeatedly to find a full report. I mean, CNN... To doubt its credibility... Well, there was that equally disheartening at-first-hearing Jackie Chan's death hoax... --He was my very first celebrity crush, you see-- But with the slither of truth that Cory could possibly had a relapse...
And then Kompas.com cleared my doubts. Very unfortunately.
No more to see of his charming smile, his nothing but adorably dorky mannerisms, his large built that gives off a protective feeling, no more to hear of his wonderful singing voice, the signature strained, yet soft articulations.
Right after the news anchormen ended the programme, of course they had to play the phenomenal scene that baptisized me as a Gleek on the spot. The very first rendition of 'Don't Stop Believing' in Glee, back when there were only six members, yet were an assemble that proved to be a powerhouse.
And when the very first line was sung so smoothly, the very first line that stole my heart and awakened me of the potential Glee has, I was trying, very desperately to banish the thought that the owner of that soulful voice, one Cory Monteith, has left us all behind in this world. Very, very desperately.
Of course the tears rolled by in just a few more seconds.
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But that's not improtant anymore, isn't it?
Was it even preventable?
It's heartbreaking. As somehow a ray of light has faded indefinitely. Like a part of me died. He was, for me, an inspiration, for someone with such a troubled past that still pretty much haunted him to the very moments of his death still could have something that changed his life to the better in almost every aspect still happen to him. For being able to seize opportunities, for keeping on fighting against his addiction, for even desiring to assist the arts and the underdogged teenagers that are fans of Glee for a boost of motivation very wholeheartedly. I had a lot of dark, misleading, unhappy events happening to me just recently, and his moving portrayal of the heart of the show, Finn Hudson, was one of the anchors that still hooked me from going much under than I did. He reminded me to not let go of my ideals that one day, a person that is meant to be with me will just appear out of nowhere, and no matter what happens between us from that moment our eyes detected each other, that yes, we can never let the other go. That a form of pure, unadulterated love will last through all times. That there's still genuine love. There will be hurdles, but with this person, no matter how hazardous they are to our relationship, our bond can never de decimated. He made me believe.
"Don't you get it, man? We're all losers. Everyone in this school! Hell, everyone in this town. Out of all the kids who graduate, maybe half will go to college, and two will leave the state to do it! I'm not afraid to be called a loser because I can accept that's what I am. But I am afraid of turning my back on something that actually made me happy for the first time in my sorry life."
- Finn Hudson, Glee
There were also life struggles and issues the character faced, most notably his insecurity that he won't be able to survive the rest of his life after graduating high school is also a very real and relatable factor, and his journey is something that most of us will certainly not want to replicate in our own future, yet the spark of hope that this character didn't let go so easily helped me cope with my depression.Traits of his that tend to correct his own mistakes, to atone responsibly, his willingness to lead and work hard. The traits that a man should possess, his character possesses, and with his briliant acting, Cory convinced me to learn a lot from a fictional character. Like, if he can persist, why the hell can't I. The actor himself is a wonderful person, often quoted aims to inspire the youth, a keen supporter of charities, and managed to share his artistic gifts to us all, brightening our lives with his undeniable talents.
"I think if you show up and your work hard and you're straightforward, you can always create your own opportunities. I hope I'm right."
-Cory Monteith
The saddest thing about this death of his though, is his permanently called off marriage with co-star Lea Michele, and of course their on screen personas' romance as well. My condolensces to the grieving Lea and Cory's family. A loss this sudden, especially at the peak of this young man's career and of course moments before he would tie the knot to a woman he loved, would have an incredibly heartwrenching impact, and if I felt that much hurt, what about these people that were closest to him?
"I want to get married and have children and live happily ever after. That's important to me."- Cory Monteith
Stay strong, are all that I wish for them.
Mr. Monteith, thank you for having simultaneously entertained and taught me to be a better person. Rest in peace, we will all miss you.
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| Thank you, Cory. I'll never stop belieeing. It's too soon, you are forever missed. By me. |
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